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July 30th, 2011
02:52 pm - Pieces of findings from who knows when
Funny the things you find when you move...
trading in a once upon a time
glass slippers for tattered sneakers
the white horse for a dirty pick-up truck
and the sunshine for the heavy fog
this is real life
and a twisted fairy tale
my kind of happy ending...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
who will eat the avocado and drink the white wine
who will kill the spiders
not be afraid of the skeletons in my closet
or a face from the past
unexpectedly knocking at my door
who will get dirty and dig in their feet
when the foundation of sand withers away
in my silence
who will always say the first word...
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you were like the wind
and like my faith
I couldn't see you, but I could feel you
surrounding me
and blowing past
leaving my skin cold, but my eyes dry
I close them
and still feel you, sometimes
passing quickly, always moving
while I have become still
still and watching, but I still can't see you
only the things you touch
the way you touched me
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November 22nd, 2008
11:02 am
...
and my world stopped spinning
all of the pieces
slipping
and falling to the ground
standing in the middle
on tired feet
weak at the knees
not ready to decide
on sink or swim
fall, and drown
or struggle
through the puzzle
to search for the picture
that used to line the walls
pieces of then
don't always fit
into pieces of now
determined
to put myself together
one way or another
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May 13th, 2008
08:17 pm
i know the house well
i have pulled on that locked door
who is it now that has the key?
is it you? is it me?
Is it gone, lost, destroyed?
will i get to go home again?
home is where the heart is
that is what everyone will say
and as far as homes go
i remember being told never to stray
i can play outside a long time
i never minded being cold...
cold and lonely i could handle,
you remember
you know i would have waited here
with a door wide open
but will i have to let go?
one day i'll have to walk away
if you decide not to come home
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May 12th, 2008
11:25 pm
i wonder if i could look down from the heavens before i was here alive
and if i did, if i could see you being born from the sky
i wonder if i asked "Father, will you let me go too... please?
a world without his soul in it isn't the one where i want to be
i know you know best for me Father, but i feel that soon i need to go
i have seen his spirit before and he is the person that i need to know"
i wonder if he warned me "but child it may not end how you hope
if i cant control someone neither can you, one day you'll have to let him go,
let him spread his wings and fly, let him live and then choose
and you'll have no guarantees down there that he will choose you"
i wonder if i thought over the risk and chose to come here after all
if i told him "love is love, and a life without it isn't a life at all
whether or not it stays forever, i know he will show me how
so Father please let me go live on earth, with him, right now"
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April 18th, 2008
11:24 pm - memories...
Cold and lonely- that used to be your cue
do you remember? of course, I do.
I stop at the sight of each star I see
and match it with a memory...
a fairy tale moment, once upon a time
a chasm we crossed, a mountain we climbed
I scan the full sky, and I close my eyes
Put them all to bed to be gone when I rise
They won't be forgotten, they never could
They'll burn there forever, like they should
In my mind each a beacon of light
When everything else is dark at night
And though at sunrise they'll disappear
It won't be because they aren't there.
I know I'll run out of stars first, and soon
but I don't give a memory to the moon
I just look at it and think of you
Sometimes I wonder if you're looking too...
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12:51 am
late night and early morning
make me feel alive again
surrounding my dreams
with heavy fog mirroring
the haze in my mind
i feel warmth in the frozen air
heavy, wrapped around me
as my feet pound the pavement
running from nightmares
chasing dreams
in between the fall of the sun
and when it will rise again
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April 13th, 2008
10:33 pm
"never say never"?
there are worse things you can say
words like forever
drowning in the drought
please let the rain fall again
on my knees i'll ask
lauren likes haikus
so much to say, so few words
i dream you'll hear me
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April 11th, 2008
10:45 pm
drowning in this flood
of emotions
you threw me right into the deep end
i know how to swim
but do i want to climb out?
with you its all or nothing
and I don't know if I'm done fighting...
she's the ice freezing over the surface
trapping me here
I could just not let it settle
break it over and over again
but what if all you really want
is to walk on water
i wont pull you under, but i wont concede
maybe i'll just float on the surface
until you rescue me
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April 6th, 2008
12:55 am
"haikus are simple
but sometimes they make no sense
refrigerator"
haha. pretty much thought that was brilliant.
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12:45 am
if it happens again
it will be too late
to say you're sorry
if it happens again
i wont hear you
when you tell me
"but, i love you"
if it happens again
there wont be room in my heart
for more chances
forgiveness isn't constantly redeemable
and i don't have any left with your name on it
so if the reality is that "if" is really "when"
there won't be anything here for you
when it happens again
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